Just Delete It

I wrote a really depressing blog post that almost made me cry. But I deleted the whole things because I’m positive you do not want your good spirits to be brought down by my sad, bad attitude.

Isn’t the delete button an amazing thing? It  makes everything just…go away. Any mistake you make, delete it. Any over exposed or under exposed picture you take, delete it. Any cruel comment you write, delete it.

Someone needs to invent a delete button for those moments in our lives when we just need to forget something happened. I wish I could delete the entire month of June, 2011. That way, my mom would still be here and I wouldn’t be sad.

I’d delete my memory of that first morning in the hospital looking at her newly dead body. I’d delete the day we walked through the funeral home trying to decide on a casket to bury her in.  I’d delete my son’s tears as he cried uncontrollably at her funeral.

I’d delete every god damn memory I have of my mother’s death because I can’t take this sadness anymore.

I’m sorry. I know you didn’t come to my blog to read this. But since I don’t feel like writing anymore I’ll just post this instead of deleting it and starting over. Hopefully, I can write something happy tomorrow.

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1 Comment

  1. Crystal, I know it’s hard I was where you are 4 years ago and I didn’t think I would eve be able to breathe again, but you must trust God and know that your pain is His pain and he feels it all. You will one day be to a point where you will trust that God didn’t want her to suffer any more and that what you’re doing with your life she got to see the wonderful young lady she help create….continue to pray and I promise you’ll get there……

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