Category Archives: baby Jack Jack

The True Tale of a Horrible Mother

My son had a fever. I gave him a dose of Advil and sent him to school anyway. Fingers crossed, I left for work praying that the daycare wouldn’t call me until the end of my workday. (Is this the epitome of neglect or what?)

I checked my cell phone throughout the day. No call. Then, as soon as the bell rang to signal the end of my 4th period class I got the call: “Mrs. Grant, Baby Jack Jack isn’t feeling well. He’s really whiny and sluggish. I think you may need to come pick him up.”  I raised my eyebrows and said in my best acting voice, “Really? Oh no! I’ll be there in 20 minutes!”

Working Mom-1 DayCare-0

My boy was sick. His eyes were bloodshot red and he was crying. Jack Jack sat in his teacher’s chair with wet paper towels wrapped around his head and neck. She was rubbing his back and talking to him softly. I grabbed him and began to stroke his head, acting like a perfect little mother who’d not dare send her sick child to school. I think I pulled it off. They believed me! My facade of the perfect mother is still in tact.

Working Mom-2 Daycare-0

As we walked towards the front lobby of the building I held my boy tightly and continued rubbing his head. He whispered something in my ear that was incomprehensible. And just as I asked him to repeat what he said I felt hot liquid running down my shoulder, legs and feet. My boy had just vomited down the entire back of my white dress.

It was hot. It was wet. And it smelled like chicken.

I stopped mid-stride and quickly put him down. We were in the middle of the lobby. I didn’t want to move because we would have tracked the digested food through the building.

Just as a bystander parent handed me a bunch of paper towels it happened again. My son threw up on the floor, all over my shoes.

Dammit! My cute little black, wedge sandals were covered in chicken noodle soup. Sh*t! My fabulous outfit that made me look 5 lbs skinnier was ruined!

At this point I’m wondering what brand of laundry product would get the stains out of my dress and how many times I’d have to scrub my shoes to remove the smell of soup. But my son’s cries shook me out of my fantasy.

We tip-toed to the bathroom and cleaned ourselves best we could. Then, I rushed Baby Jack Jack to the doctor. The smell of vomit  overwhelmed me as I sped down the highway. We made it in a flash and his pediatrician quickly gave Jack Jack nausea medication followed by a dose of Advil to relieve his 101.6 degree temperature.

An hour later, after a bath and a few sips of Gatorade, my boy was back to normal. He ran through the house  jumping from couch to couch as I locked myself in the laundry room and soaked my clothes.

Baby Jack Jack- 1, Mommy- 0


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Baby Jack Jack Goes Bowling

Boy is this post late! It should have been uploaded at midnight last night. But it’s now 8:00 pm on Sunday night and I’m just now hitting the publish button.

Even though my weekend had a few bumps in it I had a good time. We spend a large part of yesterday at Dave and Buster’s eating and bowling. I sucked. I really sucked at bowling. I think my score was 73. I guess I should cut myself a little slack because it was the first time I’d been bowling in 2 years.

The kids had a great time. Even Baby Jack Jack scored 53 points. I’ve never seen a two-year old bowl with such determination.  After bowling we went to see Spy Kids 2. I give it a thumbs down but my kids enjoyed it. So I guess that’s all that matters.

I consumed way too many unnecessary calories this weekend so I have to think of a way to get my body moving before I turn in to the good year blimp.

Was your weekend as busy as mine? What did you do for fun?

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Good Night, Sweetheart

Why can’t toddlers just lay down and go to sleep? Why do they have to fight their moms? Why do they have to kick and scream when we utter the words “nap time”? Today I was tired. I didn’t want to put up with the fight. So I left him alone. I let him roam around the house in a near stupor due to exhaustion.

And then, everything got quiet. I no longer heard the pitter patter of little feet. Silence. I tip- toed up stairs, peeked in Baby Jack Jack’s room. Nothing. I tip- toed in the playroom. Nothing. I tip toed down the hall to my bedroom and found this…..


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Baby Jack Jack Grows Up

Yes, I call my son Baby Jack Jack. No, Jack isn’t his real name. But when he was 5 months old he had these gigantic blue eyes and this small tuft of hair just like the character from the movie, The Incredibles. Hence the name, Baby Jack Jack.

The name kinda stuck but his eyes aren’t blue anymore. They’re green. And the small tuft of hair is gone. He has lots of hair now that grows very quickly which keeps him at the barber shop regularly. He’s definitely growing up. I miss my little 5 month old Baby Jack Jack. But my boy has developed into a handsome little guy who likes to make mommy laugh. Here are a few pictures:


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Baby Jack Jack Tries to Swim

Isn’t this picture great? That’s my boy floating around in the lazy river at Myrtle Beach. I had to keep a close eye on him because he can’t swim. And even though the water was only 2 1/2 feet high, I was nervous. But Baby Jack Jack had no fears as he moved around the water like a little fish. He kept telling me to dunk his head under the water. I dunked him and made sure he immediately emerged from the pool. He quickly rubbed his eyes and applauded for himself.

The lazy river was a definite relief for us because it was steaming hot at the ocean. The sun pounded on Baby Jack Jack’s soft skin but he was not bothered by the sun’s beams at all. He had a marvelous time moving his little hands and feet in the water.

I’m convinced he’s ready to take swimming lessons. The only problem is I can’t swim a lick. And all two-year olds are required to have an adult in the pool with them. That poses a problem since I have a slight fear of water, coupled with my tremendous fear of being seen at close range wearing a bathing suit.

How do you keep cool in these hot temperatures?

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Pissing on the Floor

I am so thankful that Baby Jack Jack has finally taken to this whole idea of using the potty.  It has been a massive undertaking filled with confusion, frustration, learning how to aim properly, cleaning poop from my bathroom floor and buying big boy underwear. He’s gotten the hang of things quite nicely. I’m happy -that our pull up and wipes budget has decreased substantially. But my runs to the store to buy more pull ups have been exchanged with running to the potty every 20 minutes with my son in tow. “Mommy, my pee pee working!” he shouts with glee.

I congratulate Baby Jack Jack for his valiant effort, make sure he pulls up his underwear correctly and watch him happily skip away. And then the work begins. I stare in the potty at the rank urine and wish a magic genie would quickly appear to dump the mess that sits before me. I tentatively grab the potty handle and hold it in my outstretched arm, wrinkling my nose. Walking slowly, as not to spill any of the pee, I carefully pour it in the toilet and flush. You’d think the hard part would be over but, oh no, you don’t know my son.

Although he uses the potty faithfully, he hasn’t quite mastered the art of proper aim. So, even though the potty is empty, I must still clean around its rim. I have taken to using Clorox disinfecting wipes because not only does it clean well; it gets rid of the foul smell that can creep up on a dirty potty. So around and around the rim I go until it shines brightly. Just as I begin to smile at my good work and wash my hands, my son zooms around the corner shouting, “I gotta pee pee mommy!”

This post is number 5 in my “30 Days of Blogging” series. Check back tomorrow for more.

*photo courtesy of*


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Baby Jack Jack Plays in The Toilet

I am a true germ-a-phobe. I wash my hands constantly and keep wet wipes in my purse so everyone around me can have clean hands, too. I’m always wiping my children’s noses and cutting their nails. Mr. Incredible knows to take off his shoes upon entering the house as not to track any dirt on the carpet. And my babies realize their teeth will be thoroughly inspected after brushing.

This obsession has turned out to be quite a hazard for my family; but I just about have everyone on the same page. Everyone, that is, except for Baby Jack Jack. Since he’s figured out this whole potty training thing he has become fascinated with the toilet. Very often, I will hear the mysterious flush of the toilet. While this is not normally a mysterious occurrence, there are times when Jack Jack and I are home alone and the toilet will “strangely” flush. Then, Jack Jack will come rushing around the corner with both of his arms soaking wet. DISGUSTING!

Why does my child play in the toilet? What is it that he’s searching for? I’ve questioned him repeatedly, put him in time out, spanked his bottom and locked him out of the bathroom. Nothing is working. Each day, Jack Jack magically disappears, the toilet mysteriously flushes, and Jack Jack magically reappears with soaking wet arms.

I thought that as my children got older, motherhood would become easier. But this is a problem that has no solution. Jack Jack is winning this battle because I’m tired of fighting the frequently flushing toilet.

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Baby Jack Jack Brushes His Teeth


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The Dentist of Doom

I love old movies. One of my favorites is Little Shop of Horrors with Rick Moranis. This movie is crazy. In case you’ve never heard of it, the movie is about a talking, flesh-eating plant that persuades a quiet, nerd-like flower shop worker to kill people. One of the nerd-like worker’s victims is a sadistic dentist played by Steve Martin. This dentist is out of his mind. He likes nothing more that to bring his patients pain and anguish by performing unnecessary treatments on them.

So, as I walked through the doors of my children’s dentist yesterday. All I thought about was Steve Martin and how the dentist was going to hurt my little babies’ mouths. My two oldest are seasoned professionals. They love the dentist and feel no fear when it’s time for their 6 month visits. But my 2-year-old was about to experience his first ever visit and I was very, very worried about him.

We sat in the waiting room and watched Charlie and The Chocolate Factory. I  twiddled my thumbs in anticipation of the dental hygienist coming out of the back office and calling my baby’s name. Once we got to the back he had to bite on a little piece of black plastic while she took his x-rays. He got a little antsy but was bribed with a spider man sticker so he calmed down quickly. And then it happened. The dental hygienist who was going to clean my son’s teeth tried to lay him on the examination table but my baby boy was having none of it. He screamed, shouted, kicked his legs, and yelled for “MOMMY!!!!!!!!!”

What could I do? I felt a mixture of extreme embarrassment, outright sympathy and a little frustration at my son’s behavior. But the hygienist was a seasoned pro and told my boy to count every tooth that he cleaned. And count my boy did. One, Two, Three, Four…..Yes, my baby is a smart one. He can count all the way to 20 AND knows all of his colors. So, for the next 10 minutes, my boy counted to 20 over and over again as the hygienist cleaned his teeth. My baby is a superstar and I was proud.

So, his first dentist appointment was completed and his teeth are perfect. I wish I could say the same for my other two. My girl had to get two teeth pulled because they were growing crooked. And my boy has a cavity in which they have to put a crown on and fill next month. Thank God for health insurance!

My girl, getting her teeth worked on

My boy, showing off his pearly whites


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Pee Pee In The Potty

The time has come and I.Am.Ready. Baby Jack Jack has begun potty training and I’m happier than a kid in a candy store. Having children is expensive (as many of you well know). The formula, food, clothes, doctor’s visit’s medicine and diapers, oh the diapers!  I’ve been buying diapers non stop for the past 8 years. When one of my children finally moves into big kid underwear, here comes another little Grant for which we have to buy Huggies .  But today marks the end of an era. Baby Jack Jack is the last little bambino that I will ever have. And he’s learning to use the potty. Since he’s wearing pull ups now it won’t be long before I can buy him some underoos and put all the diapers and baby wipes behind me.

Potty training can be a long, tedious and frustrating process for parent and child.  It seems so simple: sit down, pee, get up and you’re done.  Why can’t kids just get in the game and score with out all the extras? The only way Baby Jack Jack will sit on the potty is if I’m there with him singing the pee pee song. Why do I need to be present for him to do his business? I surely don’t need anyone witnessing MY potty time! But Jack Jack has to have an audience. And when he’s done he looks at me with a big grin and says “ewwwwww”!

We’re only 1 day into our potty training marathon but my boy has done a fabulous job. He filled up his potty several times today so I give him an “A +” for effort. Hopefully he will learn to use the potty without hearing the pee pee song because I don’t know how much longer I can sing it without loosing my mind. Below is a video that I plan to play at Jack Jack’s wedding……


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