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baby Jack Jack

My Husband is Amazing

board gameClearly I don’t give Mr. Incredible the credit he deserves. Many married couples spend time complaining about their significant other.

We focus on the things our spouse isn’t doing or secretly wish he/she would move to a far away island (oh, is that just me?).

But really, folks, God gave me the absolute best husband! He is so kind, caring and patient. And to live with someone like me, you MUST have patience!

I watched my husband as he laid on the floor playing a game of Candy Land with our four year old.  I was so proud of him for turning off the basketball game and focusing on Baby Jack Jack. I know he wasn’t really  interested in the board game, but our boy wanted to play. So my husband dropped everything and played.

Now I know it’s no great feat to play Candy Land with your child. But I’m so thankful that my husband is a man who takes care of his family. We are his priority and he does everything he can to ensure that we are provided for and protected.

I’m so thankful. So, let me get off this blog and show him how much I appreciate him. Ahem!

Do you have an amazing partner? What ways do you show your appreciation?

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We Put The Kids Out!

The reading area of my bedroom

I’ve finally decided to put my children out. Now, I have peace. Wait! Wait! Wait! Before you go calling Georgia Department of Family and Children’s Services, let me explain.

Since we moved into this home nine years ago my bedroom has served as my children’s second play room (yes, SECOND). They have a huge playroom downstairs with thousands of dollars worth of toys, games, furniture, books and music. But for some reason, they seldom convene in the playroom to actually play. They only go in that room to pick up a few toys or games then transport them to MY bedroom where they promptly throw the toy in the middle of the room, turn on the TV, and plop their bodies in the floor to play while watching Disney or Nickelodeon.

My bedroom has become a junkyard for toys. It is in a constant state of mess.  I spend every single weekend cleaning it, but by the time Sunday night rolls around Mr. Incredible and I find Lego blocks and Nintendo DS games all over our bedroom floor along with cars and trucks hidden in our bedsheets.

This past weekend was different. I cleaned like never before. I got rid of lots of my own personal junk that had taken up residence in various corners of my room. I dusted, vacuumed and organized my shelves. I looked around the room with great satisfaction. Just as I  sat in my rocking chair to enjoy the product of my work Baby Jack Jack comes in with his crate filled with blocks. A fire arose inside me and before I knew it I said in a not so nice voice “GET OUT”. He immediately turned around with his toys and ran down the hall like Speedy Gonzales.

I felt free. Free of the toys that had been cluttering my bedroom sanctuary. I felt free! Amistad free! Harriet Tubman free! 13th Amendment free!

This invisible line that Mr. Incredible and I have drawn at the two entrances to our bedroom have worked out pretty well. The kids have been banned for the past four days.  Our bedroom has remained spotless and kid-free. Needless to say we are really, really enjoying the peace.

Denzel At The Dentist

Clearly, my family hasn’t adjusted well to Mr. Incredible’s week-long business trip in San Francisco. We’ve all had a difficult time sleeping for the past few nights. The rain, thunder and lightening didn’t help matters at all. I had suffered from a nasty stress headache all day and needed a Tylenol PM to get some rest.

When I awoke the next morning to get my three-year old son dressed for his dentist appointment, I noticed he had wet the bed. It wasn’t a huge deal because from time to time he has accidents. I bathed him and we made our way to the dentist. We made it through the teeth cleaning with minimal whining. I was relieved. As the doctor walked in to check his teeth and answer any questions my son began to point at his shorts. I was confused by his motions until I noticed a puddle of water forming on the floor beside my feet and around the dentist’s chair.

Yes. The child had peed all over the floor. I was mortified. Horrified. So very embarrassed. And my embarrassment was enlarged  because the dental hygienist was a high school friend that I hadn’t seen in almost 20 years. And she was the one who had to clean up the mess. Lawd! Shame magnified!

After the appointment was over I had to wait in the lobby for my paperwork to be uploaded into the dentist’s network. I sat, flipping through a magazine hoping that my embarrassment would  ease. My spirit was quickly lifted as I turned to an advertisement for the SafeHouse DVD. If you didn’t know, SafeHouse is a movie starring Denzel Washington that was in theaters earlier this year.

Well, this particular advertisement showed a scene from the movie that was simply stunning. It was Denzel, with his back to the camera, gun in hand and head turned to the side. GLORIOUS!!!!!!! It was a fantastic image of the actor. I had to have it.

I immediately forgot about my pissy child and the embarrassment that had crowded my soul a few moments earlier. I rushed to the receptionists desk and quietly explained my complete and utter obsession with Denzel and proceeded to beg her for the page out of the magazine.

 She laughed, took the magazine and began to tear the page for me. I got a printout of mybill and thanked her a million times. I was so happy. This is a dentist’s appointment that I will never forget.

*Later that day I took my children to dinner. My son, exhausted by  his swimming lesson earlier that day fell asleep at the restaurant. When I awoke him to take him home he was soaking wet. He had peed all over himself, the booth, and the floor. Oh! What a day!

Baby Jack Jack Learns To Read

My children are very smart. They all mastered the English language at a very early age. They knew their ABC’s before they started walking and were able to tackle penmanship before their second birthday.

Reading is a daily activity in our home and we take frequent trips to the book store to stock up on the latest Dork Diaries or Captain Underpants book. 

When they come home from school we spend time discussing their day. My children have grown accustomed to telling me two good things about school each afternoon to keep me abreast of what they are learning.

Just recently Baby Jack Jack, my 3 year old, came home from day care with green”stuff” all over his hands. I asked him why his hands were green and he said “I painted, mommy”. I asked him what he painted. He stared at me with his big green eyes and said, “The letter G”! “Very good!” I exclaimed. “What starts with the letter G?” I asked in anticipation.

He smiled and said, “girl” “green” “goat”. I was pleased. We continued discussing other words that begin with the “G” sound as my 7 year old son came in the room. I assume he had been listening to our conversation because he joined right in. He looked at his brother and asked “What word starts with B?” My little one quickly responded, “BOOTY! BOOTY starts with B!” They both buckled over in laughter.

The True Tale of a Horrible Mother

My son had a fever. I gave him a dose of Advil and sent him to school anyway. Fingers crossed, I left for work praying that the daycare wouldn’t call me until the end of my workday. (Is this the epitome of neglect or what?)

I checked my cell phone throughout the day. No call. Then, as soon as the bell rang to signal the end of my 4th period class I got the call: “Mrs. Grant, Baby Jack Jack isn’t feeling well. He’s really whiny and sluggish. I think you may need to come pick him up.”  I raised my eyebrows and said in my best acting voice, “Really? Oh no! I’ll be there in 20 minutes!”

Working Mom-1 DayCare-0

My boy was sick. His eyes were bloodshot red and he was crying. Jack Jack sat in his teacher’s chair with wet paper towels wrapped around his head and neck. She was rubbing his back and talking to him softly. I grabbed him and began to stroke his head, acting like a perfect little mother who’d not dare send her sick child to school. I think I pulled it off. They believed me! My facade of the perfect mother is still in tact.

Working Mom-2 Daycare-0

As we walked towards the front lobby of the building I held my boy tightly and continued rubbing his head. He whispered something in my ear that was incomprehensible. And just as I asked him to repeat what he said I felt hot liquid running down my shoulder, legs and feet. My boy had just vomited down the entire back of my white dress.

It was hot. It was wet. And it smelled like chicken.

I stopped mid-stride and quickly put him down. We were in the middle of the lobby. I didn’t want to move because we would have tracked the digested food through the building.

Just as a bystander parent handed me a bunch of paper towels it happened again. My son threw up on the floor, all over my shoes.

Dammit! My cute little black, wedge sandals were covered in chicken noodle soup. Sh*t! My fabulous outfit that made me look 5 lbs skinnier was ruined!

At this point I’m wondering what brand of laundry product would get the stains out of my dress and how many times I’d have to scrub my shoes to remove the smell of soup. But my son’s cries shook me out of my fantasy.

We tip-toed to the bathroom and cleaned ourselves best we could. Then, I rushed Baby Jack Jack to the doctor. The smell of vomit  overwhelmed me as I sped down the highway. We made it in a flash and his pediatrician quickly gave Jack Jack nausea medication followed by a dose of Advil to relieve his 101.6 degree temperature.

An hour later, after a bath and a few sips of Gatorade, my boy was back to normal. He ran through the house  jumping from couch to couch as I locked myself in the laundry room and soaked my clothes.

Baby Jack Jack- 1, Mommy- 0

Baby Jack Jack Goes Bowling

Boy is this post late! It should have been uploaded at midnight last night. But it’s now 8:00 pm on Sunday night and I’m just now hitting the publish button.

Even though my weekend had a few bumps in it I had a good time. We spend a large part of yesterday at Dave and Buster’s eating and bowling. I sucked. I really sucked at bowling. I think my score was 73. I guess I should cut myself a little slack because it was the first time I’d been bowling in 2 years.

The kids had a great time. Even Baby Jack Jack scored 53 points. I’ve never seen a two-year old bowl with such determination.  After bowling we went to see Spy Kids 2. I give it a thumbs down but my kids enjoyed it. So I guess that’s all that matters.

I consumed way too many unnecessary calories this weekend so I have to think of a way to get my body moving before I turn in to the good year blimp.

Was your weekend as busy as mine? What did you do for fun?

Good Night, Sweetheart

Why can’t toddlers just lay down and go to sleep? Why do they have to fight their moms? Why do they have to kick and scream when we utter the words “nap time”? Today I was tired. I didn’t want to put up with the fight. So I left him alone. I let him roam around the house in a near stupor due to exhaustion.

And then, everything got quiet. I no longer heard the pitter patter of little feet. Silence. I tip- toed up stairs, peeked in Baby Jack Jack’s room. Nothing. I tip- toed in the playroom. Nothing. I tip toed down the hall to my bedroom and found this…..


Baby Jack Jack Grows Up

Yes, I call my son Baby Jack Jack. No, Jack isn’t his real name. But when he was 5 months old he had these gigantic blue eyes and this small tuft of hair just like the character from the movie, The Incredibles. Hence the name, Baby Jack Jack.

The name kinda stuck but his eyes aren’t blue anymore. They’re green. And the small tuft of hair is gone. He has lots of hair now that grows very quickly which keeps him at the barber shop regularly. He’s definitely growing up. I miss my little 5 month old Baby Jack Jack. But my boy has developed into a handsome little guy who likes to make mommy laugh. Here are a few pictures:

Baby Jack Jack Tries to Swim

Isn’t this picture great? That’s my boy floating around in the lazy river at Myrtle Beach. I had to keep a close eye on him because he can’t swim. And even though the water was only 2 1/2 feet high, I was nervous. But Baby Jack Jack had no fears as he moved around the water like a little fish. He kept telling me to dunk his head under the water. I dunked him and made sure he immediately emerged from the pool. He quickly rubbed his eyes and applauded for himself.

The lazy river was a definite relief for us because it was steaming hot at the ocean. The sun pounded on Baby Jack Jack’s soft skin but he was not bothered by the sun’s beams at all. He had a marvelous time moving his little hands and feet in the water.

I’m convinced he’s ready to take swimming lessons. The only problem is I can’t swim a lick. And all two-year olds are required to have an adult in the pool with them. That poses a problem since I have a slight fear of water, coupled with my tremendous fear of being seen at close range wearing a bathing suit.

How do you keep cool in these hot temperatures?

Pissing on the Floor

I am so thankful that Baby Jack Jack has finally taken to this whole idea of using the potty.  It has been a massive undertaking filled with confusion, frustration, learning how to aim properly, cleaning poop from my bathroom floor and buying big boy underwear. He’s gotten the hang of things quite nicely. I’m happy -that our pull up and wipes budget has decreased substantially. But my runs to the store to buy more pull ups have been exchanged with running to the potty every 20 minutes with my son in tow. “Mommy, my pee pee working!” he shouts with glee.

I congratulate Baby Jack Jack for his valiant effort, make sure he pulls up his underwear correctly and watch him happily skip away. And then the work begins. I stare in the potty at the rank urine and wish a magic genie would quickly appear to dump the mess that sits before me. I tentatively grab the potty handle and hold it in my outstretched arm, wrinkling my nose. Walking slowly, as not to spill any of the pee, I carefully pour it in the toilet and flush. You’d think the hard part would be over but, oh no, you don’t know my son.

Although he uses the potty faithfully, he hasn’t quite mastered the art of proper aim. So, even though the potty is empty, I must still clean around its rim. I have taken to using Clorox disinfecting wipes because not only does it clean well; it gets rid of the foul smell that can creep up on a dirty potty. So around and around the rim I go until it shines brightly. Just as I begin to smile at my good work and wash my hands, my son zooms around the corner shouting, “I gotta pee pee mommy!”

This post is number 5 in my “30 Days of Blogging” series. Check back tomorrow for more.

*photo courtesy of http://tidsandbits.com*

Baby Jack Jack Plays in The Toilet

I am a true germ-a-phobe. I wash my hands constantly and keep wet wipes in my purse so everyone around me can have clean hands, too. I’m always wiping my children’s noses and cutting their nails. Mr. Incredible knows to take off his shoes upon entering the house as not to track any dirt on the carpet. And my babies realize their teeth will be thoroughly inspected after brushing.

This obsession has turned out to be quite a hazard for my family; but I just about have everyone on the same page. Everyone, that is, except for Baby Jack Jack. Since he’s figured out this whole potty training thing he has become fascinated with the toilet. Very often, I will hear the mysterious flush of the toilet. While this is not normally a mysterious occurrence, there are times when Jack Jack and I are home alone and the toilet will “strangely” flush. Then, Jack Jack will come rushing around the corner with both of his arms soaking wet. DISGUSTING!

Why does my child play in the toilet? What is it that he’s searching for? I’ve questioned him repeatedly, put him in time out, spanked his bottom and locked him out of the bathroom. Nothing is working. Each day, Jack Jack magically disappears, the toilet mysteriously flushes, and Jack Jack magically reappears with soaking wet arms.

I thought that as my children got older, motherhood would become easier. But this is a problem that has no solution. Jack Jack is winning this battle because I’m tired of fighting the frequently flushing toilet.

The Dentist of Doom

I love old movies. One of my favorites is Little Shop of Horrors with Rick Moranis. This movie is crazy. In case you’ve never heard of it, the movie is about a talking, flesh-eating plant that persuades a quiet, nerd-like flower shop worker to kill people. One of the nerd-like worker’s victims is a sadistic dentist played by Steve Martin. This dentist is out of his mind. He likes nothing more that to bring his patients pain and anguish by performing unnecessary treatments on them.

So, as I walked through the doors of my children’s dentist yesterday. All I thought about was Steve Martin and how the dentist was going to hurt my little babies’ mouths. My two oldest are seasoned professionals. They love the dentist and feel no fear when it’s time for their 6 month visits. But my 2-year-old was about to experience his first ever visit and I was very, very worried about him.

We sat in the waiting room and watched Charlie and The Chocolate Factory. I  twiddled my thumbs in anticipation of the dental hygienist coming out of the back office and calling my baby’s name. Once we got to the back he had to bite on a little piece of black plastic while she took his x-rays. He got a little antsy but was bribed with a spider man sticker so he calmed down quickly. And then it happened. The dental hygienist who was going to clean my son’s teeth tried to lay him on the examination table but my baby boy was having none of it. He screamed, shouted, kicked his legs, and yelled for “MOMMY!!!!!!!!!”

What could I do? I felt a mixture of extreme embarrassment, outright sympathy and a little frustration at my son’s behavior. But the hygienist was a seasoned pro and told my boy to count every tooth that he cleaned. And count my boy did. One, Two, Three, Four…..Yes, my baby is a smart one. He can count all the way to 20 AND knows all of his colors. So, for the next 10 minutes, my boy counted to 20 over and over again as the hygienist cleaned his teeth. My baby is a superstar and I was proud.

So, his first dentist appointment was completed and his teeth are perfect. I wish I could say the same for my other two. My girl had to get two teeth pulled because they were growing crooked. And my boy has a cavity in which they have to put a crown on and fill next month. Thank God for health insurance!

My girl, getting her teeth worked on

My boy, showing off his pearly whites


Pee Pee In The Potty

The time has come and I.Am.Ready. Baby Jack Jack has begun potty training and I’m happier than a kid in a candy store. Having children is expensive (as many of you well know). The formula, food, clothes, doctor’s visit’s medicine and diapers, oh the diapers!  I’ve been buying diapers non stop for the past 8 years. When one of my children finally moves into big kid underwear, here comes another little Grant for which we have to buy Huggies .  But today marks the end of an era. Baby Jack Jack is the last little bambino that I will ever have. And he’s learning to use the potty. Since he’s wearing pull ups now it won’t be long before I can buy him some underoos and put all the diapers and baby wipes behind me.

Potty training can be a long, tedious and frustrating process for parent and child.  It seems so simple: sit down, pee, get up and you’re done.  Why can’t kids just get in the game and score with out all the extras? The only way Baby Jack Jack will sit on the potty is if I’m there with him singing the pee pee song. Why do I need to be present for him to do his business? I surely don’t need anyone witnessing MY potty time! But Jack Jack has to have an audience. And when he’s done he looks at me with a big grin and says “ewwwwww”!

We’re only 1 day into our potty training marathon but my boy has done a fabulous job. He filled up his potty several times today so I give him an “A +” for effort. Hopefully he will learn to use the potty without hearing the pee pee song because I don’t know how much longer I can sing it without loosing my mind. Below is a video that I plan to play at Jack Jack’s wedding……


I Heart Chick Fil A

For the second year in a row my monkeys have entered Chick Fil A’s Show Us The Cow contest.  This year they really want to win, but they need your help.  Please go to www.showusthecow.com and vote for the photo entitled “Phantom of the Herd“. Chick Fil A will send you a confirmation e mail. Please open this e mail so your vote can be counted. Thanks so much for voting for my monkeys! The contest runs through the end of August. I’ll be sure to update you on the results.

I Heart Myrtle Beach

I’m back from the beach after a much-needed family vacation.  We had a superb time on the coast as we made sand castles, floated in the lazy river, and shopped till we dropped. 

Broadway at the Beach

 One thing that is similar about Mr. Incredible and I is that we enjoy doing nothing.  But that’s kinda hard to do when you have three little ones.  If it were up to us, we would’ve stayed in the condo all day, sitting on the balcony watching the waves. But oh no! Monkey #1 and Monkey #2, along with Baby Jack Jack were having none of that.  So every morning, shortly after breakfast, Mr. Incredible and I were hounded to go to the beach or the pool.  Once we loaded up the beach chairs, umbrella, toys, towels, snacks, sun block, hats, BlackBerry, IPhone, ear buds, etc.  off we went to enjoy the sand and sun.  The Monkey’s made their sand castles while Baby Jack Jack ran away from the wind. Yes, he’s afraid of the wind!!! 

 Mr. Incredible and I lounged around, keeping a close eye on the kiddies as we updated our Facebook and twitter pages.  What fun, what fun. Now we’re back to the reality of laundry, vacuuming, bills and work. I need another vacation. And I need one soon! Are you planning a summer vacation with your family?

Baby Jack Jack hiding from the wind

Pregnancy Sucks

I attended one of my blogger buddies baby shower yesterday and it surprisingly brought back old feelings for me. As I walked in and saw my 9 month pregnant friend, it made me want to have another baby.  I guess it didn’t help that Kelly looked fantastic! I mean really, who looks beautiful when they are about to go into labor? But she looked like she could be on the cover of a magazine.

I remember being 9 months pregnant and looking like the stay puff marshmallow man.  My entire body was swollen from my wrist to my ankles.  And my nose was spread across my entire face. So much for looking beautiful. Not only was I an ugly pregnant woman, but I was sick. Constantly sick.  I suffered from nausea and vomiting throughout my 9 months. I had carpal tunnel syndrome AND gestational diabetes.   I wasn’t able to sleep well while pregnany. But when I did sleep I dreamt about a little baby girl with a  pink bow in her hair. I was so excited to know that I’d be having another girl.  I named her McKenzie and fantasized about taking both my girls to buy pretty dresses and get their hair done.

So at 4 months into my pregnancy when the OB told me I was having a boy I was in disbelief.  I made her check over and over again to be sure that the penis she thought she saw was in fact a finger or toe.  “No ma’am, it’s a boy”.

What would I do without my little McKenzie? For the next 5 months I hoped and hoped that the OB was wrong.  I’d spend time in the little girls section of stores looking at pink dresses wondering if the baby inside me was indeed a girl.

And then it happened.  My baby came. So to let me know that he was in fact no girl- he promptly stuck his penis out and peed all over the nurses in the delivery room! My boy!

So, no McKenzie for me. I gave the doctor strict orders to end all my ability to have children! I could not go through another awful pregnancy. Three was enough.

Now I sit, lamenting my little McKenzie and Baby Jack Jack throws paper cups all over my newly mopped the kitchen floor. I wonder how he’d look if I stuck a pink bow on top of his head.

Baby Jack Jack at 16 months

Do you have children? Were you surprised by their gender or did you get exactly what you wanted?

Life with a Superbaby

Baby Jack Jack likes to…..

crawl out of his stroller after Mommie repeatedly tells him to sit still (how does he get that seat belt unbuckled anyway?

put all types of inanimate objects in his mouth.

help Mommie unload the dishwasher by throwing all the dishes on the floor.

lounge around sucking an old,dirty pacifier that he found under his bed.

throw a temper tantrum at the most inconvenient times just to let Mommie know who’s in charge.